JULIAN Clary is certainly not one to mince his words, but says he sees mincing as a "way of life" even calling his latest show The Joy of Mincing.

However, the comedian, national treasure trinket, author, TV and radio star has spoken of other pursuits, including the time he had to save Joan Collins from drowning in a swimming pool in St Tropez...

For the past 30 years, Julian, 56, has turned mincing into an art form while becoming one of the country’s best loved comics.

“I always like to get 'mincing' into the title,” he explains.

“We’ve had Lord of the Mince, Natural Born Mincer, and Mincing Machine was my first tour in 1989. I don’t know why but it sets the tone, doesn’t it?

“I suppose mincing, apart from being a means of walking around, is a way of life. The Joy of Mincing is a declaration of the joy of life despite disapproval, perhaps.”

There was a time when Julian preferred mincing around London’s West End and he was a familiar face in all the celebrity night clubs.

Today, he lives in a quaint country cottage with a garden and picket fence, and prefers rural theatres to city venues.

“I love Glasgow. My rule used to be that the further north you go, the more extrovert people are,” he explains.

“But I’ve changed my mind about that rule because I’ve had lovely gigs down south as well as in grim northern towns.

“You’d have to pay a lot of money to get me into a nightclub, sniffing and snorting and dragging some trollop home with me. Yuck. I like to keep myself nice these days.

“I think there’s nothing drearier than a 56 year old homosexual hanging around Soho in Lycra. Mercifully, one grows out of that. Thank goodness. I don’t miss those days at all.”

Somerset County Gazette: Julian Clary

After 30 years on tour, Julian is happy to announce his show remains as rude as ever. 

He claims the stage is the one place where he can “let rip,” although he insists he doesn’t want to be filthy for the sake of it, describing it as a comic device.

“In 30 years, comedy has changed beyond all recognition. In the 1980s, it used to be an eclectic selection of people in small rooms above pubs.

“My comedy was a reaction against the right-wing men in bow-ties who were being offered as light entertainment in those days. There was a certain amount of anger and delight in confronting people when I started, which has more or less gone now.

“Making people laugh is my main aim in life these days. I don’t think there’s so much to be angry about now.”

So what makes audiences laugh today?

“Well, there’s a rather long story about how I once saved Joan Collins’s life in a swimming pool in St Tropez. It’s a true story, which I won’t give away now, but it’s a long, meandering tale that fills the first half.

“Then the second half is about MBEs. I’ve noticed a lot of my friends in the business are getting these awards. They’re handing them out like Smarties. 

"I think, ‘Ooh, I’d like one of those,’ but it’s never happened so I’m obviously not favoured by the Establishment. I can only blame myself.

“So during the show, I give myself one and call it ‘Mincer of the British Empire’. I’m making lots of these MBEs and handing them out to people in the audience. Just the lucky few, you understand. It’s not included in the ticket price.

“I’m always looking for an excuse to talk to the audience. That’s what keeps me going. 

"You can get bored if you’re just reeling off the same old nonsense. I’m always very interested in the audience and their stories. 

"People are very funny. They never fail to amuse.”

The stage is also the one place Julian still wears make-up, including his trademark glittery lips.

When asked about ageing, he replies it is “not on the top of my list of enjoyable things”.

“I am thrilled with my grey hair. I’ve turned from a fluffy chicken into a silver fox.

“When you’re young, there are all these things you want to achieve. Then when you get to your 50s you’ve either done them or you haven’t, so the physical deterioration is offset by the things that you can tick off the list.

“In that respect each decade is better than the last. Although I’m sure one reaches a tipping point where that’s not the case anymore.”

But he has no sympathy for comedians who complain about life on the road being lonely and full of bad food.

“Nobody’s making you do it and there’s a Waitrose in every town these days.”

It seems Julian is set to enjoy a little Wellington mince.

  • The Joy of Mincing will be at The Octagon, Yeovil, on Thursday, April 14.